Wednesday, February 27, 2008

a happy place...

Who knew that I'd find a happy place doing my homework, but I have. I'm sitting here in candlelight, with a cozy blanket, writing and listening to Cody play the guitar. I don't think he realizes that I'm listening and writing a blog instead of my sermon. This is a happy moment...

Saturday, February 23, 2008

on being grandma-ish...

I'm scared I am going to be like my grandma. I know, I know...what's wrong with that? Grandma's are cute...they knit and crochet and make pies, go to bed early, they have candy in their purse all the time, they have that kinda cool/kinda weird, uber stretchy skin around their elbows, which is kinda fun to play with. Or maybe that's just me??? I don't know..either way, what is so bad about being grandma-ish. Well, nothing. I knit, I crochet, generally have some sort of sugar product in my purse...don't quite have the uber stretchy skin on the elbows, but I'm sure it will come. I can't say I bake pies, although, I do bake. So really...nothing wrong with being grandma-ish. I would even say I enjoy it.
My fear however lies in the fact that my one grandma is nothing like that. Don't get me wrong...I love her, and she has many great things about her. However, I have lovingly nicknamed her "crazy grandma". I don't want to be that kind of grandma-ish, and there are days, when I'm not careful that I see characteristics of her in myself. She tends to have a very bitter outlook on life, her mood can change on the drop of dime, she can snap quite easily and she has a mean streak. Not your stereotypical grandma...I kinda see this somewhat crazy side in me somedays, and that scares me.
My other grandma knits and bakes and goes to bed early, always has candy in her purse...and yes...the cool elbow phenomenon. Her life in recent years hasn't been easy with a lot of knee/back/hip problems, but she always smiles, is always polite, always loves and does her best to get by.
So there we go...being grandma-ish. Cody hasn't met "crazy grandma" yet. I'm sure he has nothing to worry about...a quality that I love about her, and that I find absolutely hilarious? She LOVES men...absolutely LOVES men...

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

anytime you're ready spring...

Monday, February 18, 2008

me, myself and my crazy self...

YAY! The sun was shining today! It was freezing as all heck, but it was sunny! I got an assignment done today with the ever so patient help of Cody. I have a hard time becoming motivated to do "busy work". None the less, it's done. Now I can focus on my big paper that's due on Friday. Focus? I guess a better word would be start. I'm a bit of a procrastinator.

So this week is reading week. For pretty much every college/university student in Canada...unless you attend Prov. We still have 2 more weeks of school before our reading week. I'm sure I will welcome that week with open arms, but there is something about sharing some time off with good friends. Oh well...It'll be good anyways.

I played boggle with my family this evening. I had my personal best game. My big scoring word: christian for 6 points, to which my sister replied, "Figures you would get that word." To which I tilted my head to the side, raised one eyebrow, looking quizzingly at her, then decided it wasn't worth talking. It was kinda bizarre...

Well...that's it for the ramblings. Here's to sunshine and perhaps warmer weather?

Thursday, February 14, 2008

there's only 78 more days you know...

And yes...life is getting a little more hectic. I really do best if I have one or two things on the go. Not four. I don't do well with four. Because when there are four things on the go...at least two get side swept, and at this point, those two things would be school and work. Probably not the best things to sweep to the side. However, wedding stuff is far more fun!
My mom and I went shopping today. I'm thinking she has a goal of racking up my visa bill...not an intentional goal, but anyways. We went and bought the fabric and pattern for the flower girl's dress! It's such a pretty dress. I'm hanging out with Sydni on Saturday, and I'm super excited to show her the dress. She's going to love it! Agnes at Fabric Land was super helpful. She showed us what we had to do, if she thought we'd need more fabric and then helped ring everything through...and with the swipe of a visa we were off!
This evening I had my first dress fitting. My soon to be sister in law came with me, which was really nice of her. After being nearly poked with pins, stuffed in the right places and so forth, I set up the next fitting appointment, and found out the costs of what they were going to take in with today's appointment. My visa card and I were thankful when we realized that we could pay at a later date...like when all the alterations were done. I called my mom on my way home to tell her how it went and she suggested I go buy the shoes I want to wear at the wedding for my next fitting (which is next Thursday), and how did she recommend paying for these new shoes??? My visa. Oh dear...I really should reconsider not sweeping work to the side so much. That might prove to be helpful.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

a youth retreat, a blizzard, - 47, being sick, and what I learned...

I spent the past weekend in Norquay SK. It was a youth retreat called "Snow Days". And that it was...we got stuck on the way there because of blizzard like conditions. I don't think I have ever been so scared to drive. I couldn't see 10 feet in front of me. I was laughing at myself though, because I was leaning as far forward in my seat as possible, thinking that suddenly my vision would improve. It didn't. At any rate, we got there early the next morning, just in time for a pancake breakfast. It was excellent! I really do love pancakes. It was about -47 with the wind on Saturday, so I chose to stay inside with the other sane people as opposed to facing the elements and toboganning and skating and other such snow activitites. I knit a toque and chatted with some girls while we sat in the sun that was coming in through the windows. That afternoon, I got sick. I was about to make...ok, I had made, the rash decision to drive home...Thankfully God closed highways. I was very grateful for a family who opened their home to me. I was able to get a lot of rest, and felt much better the next day when we drove home.
I'll be honest...I really wasn't looking forward to the weekend. I don't like being cold (Snow Days...), I didn't want to go away for the weekend. I really just wanted to be able to stay at home and relax. It had been a busy/stress filled week. I was really feeling terrible about my attitude. I kept praying that God would change my heart, and He did. When I got sick out there, I was so disappointed. I really just wanted to spend time with the youth, potentially freeze my face off and enjoy the company of those I hadn't seen in quite some time. God taught me that I need to care for my relationship with Him. When I am nurturing my relationship with God, I can then invest in serving God and others. When I am "spiritually drained", when I am not drawing strength from God, is when that passion and love for serving in ministry fades away...

Thursday, February 7, 2008

the recovery...

You know the feeling when you wake up and you know you've spent the entire day prior crying? Yeah...that was Tuesday.

Monday, February 4, 2008

oh my stars...

Yesterday's declaration of officially being stressed amounted to the most dramatic crash and burn session today. I cried for 4 HOURS this morning....STRAIGHT. I don't think I've cried 4 hours in total in my life...ok, maybe that's an exageration, but still. There was no end in sight...I cried while doing my laundry, I cried while brushing my teeth (not an easy task), I cried while attempting to read a book for school, I cried while I was on the phone...I feel like the only thing I accomplished today was lose 6 pounds of water weight. And frick do I ever feel exhausted now. My eyes feel so heavy. I feel better though. I'm learning to prioritize things: what can wait until later, how and where can I set aside some time for me to rejuvenate, what can I just totally delete from my schedule...(I got rid of both my Esso shifts this week, hopefully...I'm still waiting on the one). My mom told me that I need to run up and down the stairs 4-5 times if I'm feeling stressed. Seriously? Wouldn't I just be stressed with sore legs then? I don't know...
I do know that how I am doing physically, mentally, emotionally is all directly connected to how I am doing spiritually.
"Abide in me and I'll abide in you, but apart from me you can do nothing" - Jesus, in John 15:4.
I'm learning to cling to that.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

It is official...

I'm stresssed out. I had toyed around with the idea of potentially being stressed out before, but today, it has become official. I am stressed. If you asked me why, I probably wouldn't even really be able to tell you. By no means is my life all that overwhelming. Cody pointed out to me that he thinks when I hear about the stresses of others, I add them onto my pile of stresses, in turn creating this massive amount of stress, when sorted out...isn't even necessarily mine! At any rate...I'm feeling stressed. Actually, I prefer the word "flustered". I think it fits me better. Tomorrow is Monday...normally my day off (I know, you're probably thinking "someone who has Monday's off should NOT be feeling flustered, or for that matter stressed!")anyways...it's normally my day off. But Cody and I have gotten our place, so I'm helping him move in, then I have to make snack for my class (again, how stressed can my life possibly be if I get a snack time at college?), then I have an exam to study for, a class lecture to prepare and an assignement to do. ALL FOR TUESDAY! Oh well...I guess that's the life of a student.
I really am just laughing at myself now after this flustered vent session. My life is pretty great, and I'm thankful that we found a place to live when we're married, I'm thankful that I can go to school, and I am most definitely thankful for snack time. My class lecture is on "Foundations of the Heart"...I'm going to make heart cookies. How cheesy, yet oh so awesome is that? Ah yes....life is good. Even if I am flustered...it's a happy kind of flustered!