i hadn't even had the joy of telling people that i was pregnant yet.
but i was...just about 8 weeks.
we lost the baby this weekend.
i don't really know how to put in words what i'm feeling. there is definitely a deep sense of loss for this little baby that i will never meet. my heart hurts at the thought of that. i don't even know if it was a little boy or girl...
cody and i were very excited about adding to our family...charlie and this little one would have been 18 months apart. it would have been a busy household, but that's what i've always dreamed of...lots of little ones running around.
i went through a wide mix of emotions...i was mad at God, i was at peace, i was mad again, i was sad, i was trying to figure out the reason why, i was blaming myself, i was blaming God, i was all over the place...
but at the end of the day...i suppose i am at peace. there is no reason why this happened. i know God is good.
i'm sure it will be hard when this little one's due date comes around...which would have been march 16.
