new years eve

it's 8:34pm and i'm ready for bed.

Do you know...

I've heard of this happening abroad...I personally have never encountered it...

Stranger: Where are you from?
You: Canada.
Stranger: Oh! Do you know (insert name)?

I didn't realize though that this also happens from within.

I just received a phone call.

Stranger: Hi. Is Mr. Philiped there?
Me: Sorry, you have the wrong number.
Stranger: Ok. Hey, I'm from ALBERTA. Do you know how I could get ahold of Philiped?
Me: Nope. Sorry. I have no idea who that is.
Stranger: Ok. Thanks anyways.

Within Canada...good grief.

But being as it's Christmas time...I will help:

Mr. Philiped, a guy in Alberta is trying to get ahold of you. Message me for his number.

pants went on sale! whoop whoop!

girls night out. 'nuf said.

I should probably go to bed, but I won't. I like the peace and quiet that comes when the boys are in bed and Cody is MIA.

In other news...Christmas is in 5 days. Actually, I`m just gonna say 4 days because it`s getting pretty late here. Which means, Christmas eve is in 3. And that`s when I have to be done everything by. 3 days. What do I have left to do? I'm pretty sure I have written out 15 lists, but can't find any of them, so I will start one here. Can't lose a blog...

1. Make meat pies.
2. Don't eat the cookies. They are for Christmas.
3. Practice up for the Mariokart tournament. One day left.
4. Wrap presents.
5. Finish father-in-law's present.
6. Bathe the children.
7. Paint my toes.
8. Dye my hair.
9. Find time by myself to paint me toes and dye my hair.
10. Do laundry. Again.
11. Do the dishes. Again.
12. Tidy and clean the house. Again.
13. Buy a Starbucks Caramel Brule latte before they disappear. Heck, buy 2.
14. Buy pants from GAP.
15. Pray that said pants go on sale ASAP.
16. Maybe praying for pants to go on sale is a weird thing to do.
17. But the bible says you don't have because you don't ask. (paraphrased)
18. So, pray for the pants to go on sale.
19. Mentally prepare to fight mall parking lot to buy said pants, that will be on sale.
20. Seriously, don`t eat the cookies.
21. I should probably just get another latte too.
22. What I should actually do, is just go to bed.
Dana. OUT.

Small Group, part deux.

Seriously, the small group I am blessed to be a part of, is WONDERFUL!

I started to write out a bunch of stuff about my group here...but I can't even put into words how I feel. These people are very special to me and I love them all.

Don't know if any of you read this or not. But I want you all to know you are great folks.

Thank you.

And thanks for loving my kids...they are lucky to be growing up seeing you all weekly.

go jets go.

Cody is at the Jets game right now with my dad. A little father-in-law/son-in-law bonding time. I like that.

I told Charlie he could watch the game with me at home on TV. I totally forgot though that it started at 7:30. He goes to bed just after 7. So...I went a searching through the PVR listings, and lo-and-behold, there was a Jets game taped. I let him watch the last 3 minutes of a period of the Bruins/Jets game. They aren't playing the Bruins tonight...they are playing the Wild. Definitely the plus side of having a 2 year old. A Jets game is a Jets game...doesn't matter who they are playing.

He is now sound asleep...wearing his Jets shirt and his hockey gloves. And no sleep is complete without a Jets hockey stick to cuddle.

I think we need to start saving for hockey...this kid is gonna cost us. Maybe Jacob will take up spelling bees or something...

It's been one of those weeks...
I feel like I'm in a constant battle with Charlie. He seriously used to be so easy going. Terrible twos is a very real thing....
He learned how to climb out of his crib...naptime and bedtime are terrible parts of the day and I feel like I'm the worst person in the world. He's crying and screaming the whole time. Thank God for short memories on little ones...all is forgiven when they wake up. But still...I feel awful.
And then there is the whole 'being too physical' thing...
I know he's not a bully. I know he's just trying to communicate what he wants. But all of a sudden, it's been pushing, and pulling hair, and biting...Not everyday, but definitely today. We had some friends over...everytime someone cried, it was because of Charlie. Charlie hit, or pulled hair, or something. I feel like I'm doing a terrible mom job...He is so freakin' stubborn and independent. I feel like I haven't really figured out the best way to communicate with him, or the best way to discipline him. Nothing seems to stick.
I know he's only 2. I know he doesn't understand a lot of concepts, like, wait your turn, or take turns. He doesn't get it yet. And that will come. I just don't know what to do...
Not being able to communicate is the biggest cause behind the terrible twos...at least in my opinion.
I just feel like a crap mom.

screaming baby and crazy toddler...

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

i love my boys.
i love my boys.
i love my boys.
i love my boys.
i love my boys.

on another note. i've been, what the sewing world calls, 'refashioning'. i've been using old clothes and turning them into something new. i'm particularily excited about an old dress shirt of cody's that i have turned into a cute shirt for me. and i have a plan for another shirt of his...again to make one for me. you see, i love shopping and new clothes. always have. probably always will. however, the money to clothes ratio is not exactly balanced. shopping is my outlet. when i need to get away and be on my own, i go shopping. it's relaxing for me. so i'm trying to make more time to sew, and hopefully that will be relaxing for me, and in the process get some new clothes for little to no cost! whoo hoo!

on a totally different note, does anyone else think evander kane looks like drake?

it's getting cold out. i'm not sure i like that too much. especially since my starbucks drink has gone up in price. ugh to starbucks. again.

summer, fall and pumpkin spice lattes

It's been awhile. I have no excuse.

Summer:
1. painted our house. looks WAY better. bright blue, rotting trim is gone.
2. had a baby. jacob cody. he's pretty cute. and chunky. love him to pieces already.
3. charlie turned 2. my baby had grown so fast.
4. charlie turned 2. terrible twos are real. parents be warned.
5. my sewing/craft room is usable, and i love it.

Fall:
1. having two kids is busy.
2. i think i`ve figured out the two kids thing. now how to keep my house clean...
3. we`re going to minneapolis to shop. yay!
4. i have fallen in love with (maybe a bit too extreme of emotion) chai tea lattes.
5. i think i want one...

Pumpkin Spice Lattes:
i`ve heard about these. everybody raves about them once fall kicks in. i have never had one. i thought, hey, i`ll try one. see what the big deal is. it was good. i experienced a little bit of so called `sticker shock`. i ordered a tall. with no foam. get my money`s worth. i get to the window and to my absolute shock and horror... 5,32$ FIVE DOLLARS AND THIRTY TWO CENTS FOR (ESSENTIALLY) A CUP OF MILK. seriously starbucks? SERIOUSLY? so i paid and carried on, thinking 'boy, this is good. but not that good. NEVER AGAIN!'
so...a few days pass. i head to the good ol s'bucks for a chai tea latte. i happen to notice the price list for the pumpkin spice lattes. they charged me for a venti. a VENTI. seriously starbucks. SERIOUSLY? needless to say, i was a little choked.
so...last night, cody and i go through the drive thru at starbucks. both with the intention of ordering pumpkin spice lattes. we do. cody mentions there mishap once we arrive at the window and, kudos starbucks. they gave us one of the drinks for free. i still think they are obscenely priced for milk, but, i'm not as opposed to ordering this fall special.

some days you just feel like you have lots to say. other days, not so much.

hence my silence for almost a month now.

i still don't really have much to say. it's been a rather blah week. my belly has officially 'popped'. which is great...it means i'm getting somewhat closer to the end. 16 weeks to be exact. whoo hoo!

however, with the popping has come the, 'ugh...i feel so...ugh...'

so. my plan? get a tan. use my free haircut. dye my hair so the roots are gone. perhaps use my free pedicure.(i have a lot of giftcards left unused since last summer)

so...tan. i've had to be creative with this one as i can't use my 3 free tanning sessions. i bought lotion with tanner in it. a little nervous to use this as one may end up streaky looking. fortunately, i have yet to end up all streaky like...

haircut. what better way to perk a girl up. unless they cut your bangs WAY too short. not happy.

hairdye. garnier nutrisse, cappuccino, #43. always use it. too bad prego hormones have changed the way my hair reacts to the color. what was supposed to be dark, dark brown, is a dark brown red. i don't mind it, but still, not what i wanted.

pedicure. haven't had that yet...probably will lose a toe or something.

so much for a perk me up week.

at least the sun is shining and the weather is warming up. i do like that.

2 minutes, 4 seconds

That's how long I was on the phone.

The door slammed. I knew the boys were up to something. I went into Charlie's room, and sure enough.

It smelled like Vick's Vapo-rub.

Smeared. All over the dresser drawer, the picture frames. Charlie's hand looked like he was wearing a glove. Gus was a little more conservative with his use of the vapo-rub...just a couple fingers dipped in. ALL OVER.

Ugh...

things i'm learning as a stay at home mom...

1. while sweats and a hoodie all day seem like a good idea, you never seem to fully wake up
2. fresh air is a wonderful thing
3. if i don't keep a close eye on charlie while he is coloring, he will eat the crayons
4. a shower is not to be taken for granted
5. nap times are grace moments
6. spills happen. go with it
7. music is key to making a slow day move a little more swiftly
8. my projects are no longer done on my time, and that is ok (most of the time...)
9. it's a good idea to try and have an supper idea no later than noon, or it won't happen
10. charlie is teaching me more about faith than i ever imagined

gotta love cody's work benefits

i'm going to the spa on thursday...3 glorious hours which include a massage, a steam room, a rainforest like shower, a real shower, relaxing in the relaxation lounge, eating the mini buffet food, chatting with a friend...
it's gonna be good.
bring it on spa. i'm ready.

today

Today was my due date.

It's strange to think about it. I've been very aware for the past few months that this day is approaching and yet I barely thought about it all day. Granted...it was kind of a nut-so day, considering my last post and all.

So, I'm here now. Sitting on my couch. Charlie is in bed, Cody is out. And I'm thinking about it:

* would I be in labor right now?
* would I have already had the baby?
* would the baby be late like Charlie and impatience would be setting in?
* would the baby be a boy or a girl?
* who would the baby have looked like? (Charlie was ALL me)
* what if...what if...what if...

It really makes me appreciate that fact that I am pregnant again. A little depressing to think that I could possibly be holding my new little one, as opposed to almost being half way. But, more so, very, very thankful to be pregnant.

This pregnancy has come with so many new fears...fears that never even crossed my mind with my pregnancy with Charlie. I suppose I was totally naive then. The realities of not all pregnancies carrying through to the end has not been more real. Every doctors appointment, I am nervous. I'm so scared they won't find a heartbeat...even though they have at each one. I just get so nervous. Part of the fear comes from the reality that people around me have been having miscarriages. Literally in between each of my appointments, I have had a friend lose a baby. It's so heartbreaking.

I am thankful to be pregnant. I am not taking it for granted.

Little baby I never knew, I'm thinking about you today...

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

lent...

I always gave up candy as a kid.

These past few years I have given such little thought to the idea of lent. I haven't gone to an Ash Wednesday service in I don't even know how long, I think I've been to one Good Friday service in the past 3 years, I haven't given anything up in a long time...I do manage to make it to the Easter Sunday service...and the family dinners.

I don't know what it is. I seriously thought about giving something up this year...but just never decided what it would be, and before I knew it Ash Wednesday had come and gone. And I did not attend.

What's different about this year though is that I've actually been thinking a lot about it. I've almost been feeling guilty that I haven't given anything up. Maybe it's not too late...if I could only think of something.

I suppose I could add something to my life for lent. Like read my bible. Also something I haven't done in a LONG time. I feel like I just can't commit...maybe that's my issue. Commitment. I don't want to feel like I HAVE to do something. I want to do it because I WANT to. And reality is, I just don't want to read the bible. As terrible as that sounds to come out of the mouth of a christian.

I think I just have a lack of care these days for my spiritual journey. Actually, I know that's the case. I just don't care. Which isn't a good place to be.

Maybe I should read my bible because I HAVE to. Maybe that would be the step towards doing it because I want to...I don't know.

Sometimes I wish it was as simple as giving up candy again. No other thoughts to go along with it...just don't eat candy for 40 days, then pig out on Easter morning. But it's not that simple...

And I pounded back a bag of Easter ju-jubes last week.

i found this. it was part of an argument cody and i had, and apparently i thought it was funny enough to write down so i'd remember it:

Cody: What is your issue?
Dana: I just want to be wooed.
Cody: How do you woo someone for 80 years?
Charlie: BAHHHAAAAAAAAA
Dana: Figure it out.
Cody: Ok, I'll try.
Dana: Ok...I like presents.
- latest argument

oh charlie...

we had quite the day yesterday didn't we little guy...
you were grumpy, so you napped in the morning.
because you napped in the morning, you did not nap in the afternoon.
because you did not nap in the afternoon, mommy did not get her rest.
because mommy didn't get her rest, she was quite impatient.
because mommy was impatient, she started to get grumpy.
because mommy was grumpy, she started to get really tired.
because mommey was tired, she put you to bed a little bit early.
because she put you to bed early, you decided to wake up at 11:30pm.
because you woke up at 11:30pm, mommy woke up too.
because mommy woke up, she was a little choked.
because mommey was choked, she brought you to her bed so you could fall back asleep.
you didn't.
so daddy brought you back to bed.
you fell asleep, but woke up AGAIN at 2:00am.
because you woke up at 2:00am, mommy was really grumpy.
because mommy was really grumpy, she got mad at daddy.
because she got mad at daddy, she stomped out of her room to get you.
because she went and got you, you and her had a perfect cuddle time.
because you had a perfect cuddle time, all was forgotten.
even how tired i am this morning.

i love you charlie.

brrr.....

So, I am not TOTALLY naive in thinking that once March 1 came, it would be all spring-like and stuff. But I was not expecting mid-January winds and wind chills. It's enough to make me want to go to Mexico.

Who am I kidding... -1 would be enough to make me want to go to Mexico.

I know myself pretty well I'd say...

Well...I knew it.

I had fun.

It was such a great afternoon at Camp Arnes. Once we got settled there, and all bundled up, Cody and I packed Charlie up in a carrier and headed out for a leisurely cross country ski. Leisurely...turns out we took the 'long' trail. Just shy of 3km's. Cody kept laughing at me as I tried to keep up with him. Turns out I am VERY dependent on the little tracks in the snow. Seemed like everytime those tracks disappeared, I was near to doing the splits. Somehow though I kept it together and only managed to fall 3 times...one of which was totally Cody's fault. Stopped in front of me while I was coming down a 'hill'...ok, a ditch. But still. First fall of the ski. The second and third were just my lack of skill...but it was all fun. And Cody was pretty patient with me the whole time. Stopping every now and then so I could catch up. Charlie loved it too! After that, we just hung out in the cabin thing and sat by a fire, visiting, while Charlie played with all the other little ones. It was a good day.

We are heading back out there on Wednesday for a night...hopefully we'll be able to do some more skiing. I actually quite enjoy it!

SAD's

Seasonal affective disorder is a cyclic, seasonal condition. This means that signs and symptoms come back and go away at the same time every year. Usually, seasonal affective disorder symptoms appear during late fall or early winter and go away during the sunnier days of spring and summer. Fall and winter seasonal affective disorder (winter depression)
Winter-onset seasonal affective disorder symptoms include:

■Depression ..... check
■Hopelessness ..... check
■Anxiety
■Loss of energy ..... check
■Social withdrawal ..... check
■Oversleeping ..... i wish
■Loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed ..... check
■Appetite changes, especially a craving for foods high in carbohydrates ..... check (but could be due to being all prego and stuff)
■Weight gain ..... check (but is due to being all prego and stuff)
■Difficulty concentrating and processing information ..... possibly ;)
(mayoclinic.com)

I think I have SAD's. Maybe not super extreme. But it usually hits me around February. When winter seems like it will never end. And this winter seems to have been around an awful long time. And so cold! I'll go outside if it's cold out, and there is something worth doing...but it's been so dang cold, I want nothing to do with it. I just coop up inside. I think the harder part this winter is that I have nowhere to set up my crafty things. Which is usually what I hunker down and do in the winter. Sew, scrapbook, make cards...I have no space for that right now. Our basement is in disarray. My sewing machine is tucked away. My sewing supplies are tucked away somewhere else. My scrapbooking things are in plastic bins burried under boxes of books...

I've just been bored. I know I need to make more of an effort to get out and do things...I just don't. Maybe I just don't care to try, or plain ol' just don't care. I feel that way sometimes.

For example, the church is heading out to Camp Arnes after the service today for some outdoor activities. My first reaction. No. I don't want to go. I don't like big events, I don't like being cold, I don't...

I know it'll be great when I get there. I know I'll have fun. I know Charlie will love it. (That boy did not inherit my dislike for cold) I know it will be a good day with our church family. I know that. But I just can't seem to get excited about it.

Cody says I've got the SAD's. Treatment can be light therapy. Perhaps a tanning bed? I know they are bad for you...but they are so warm and bright...

But I can't...I'm prego. No tanning bed when you're prego.

Lord, help me.

gus: dana, i don't like my fingers.
dana: why not gus?
gus: i just don't.
dana: ok.
gus: i just...cause i like new fingers.
dana: so you don't like your fingers because you like new fingers better?
gus: ya. i like new socks and new boots too.
dana: me too.
gus: i just don't like my fingers. i like new ones. and new toes.
dana: fair enough.

i shall blog.

Well, given our financial state at times, the internet seemed an unlikely luxury. But thanks to Cody's "won't take no for an answer" attitude in dealing with MTS, we have a pretty sweet deal for the next 6 months.
So...I am back.
There has been many happenings since my last post...

An Update:
1. We have moved into our house. And I love it. It's not totally finished...but what needs to be finished are all those little things that nobody ever gets around to finishing once they have moved in. Like painting trim. Nobody likes to do that once they've moved in.

2. I watch my nephew 3 days a week still. Which I love. Him and Charlie have gotten pretty close and play really well together, which is fun to watch. I can see them growing up like brothers. It's pretty sweet. Gus always has some crazy things to say that are quite hilarious and make my day.

3. Charlie...good grief. That boy is super busy, into everything, has to do everything by himself, loves to read books (especially "if you give a mouse a cookie", which I can recite to you from memory if you'd like). He's a pretty easy going kid for the most part...he has his dramatic moments like anyone else. He's definitely at a fun age...I'm loving that I get to stay home with him so far. I would hate to be missing out on all this!

4. I'm pregnant. 15.5 weeks pregnant. So still quite a ways to go. I was quite sick with this one for the first 3 months, which was not enjoyable at all. I had two suggestions of food items that apparently help to curb morning/afternoon/evening/night sickness...milk chocolate and olives. I'll let you figure out which I opted for. Alas though, the sickness is gone and my belly is starting to grow. I'd say I'm past the awkward "is she getting fat?" stage and more into the "oh...a little baby bump!" stage. Which is nice. I had a lady I knew when I was younger hold her hand on my belly for a good 30 seconds, smiling and going "awwww"...it was a little weird. Anyways, I'm due August 13. I hope this baby comes early, because labor on my birthday sounds terrible. I think 2 weeks early would be nice. And maybe it will be a girl...afterall, I wasn't sick AT ALL with Charlie...

5. Not to get all depressing and stuff...but I've been thinking a lot lately about the baby Cody and I lost last summer. I would be coming up to my due date in 2 weeks now, and it seems to be on my mind a lot lately. I'm very thankful to be pregnant as this day approaches. I think it would have been a lot harder to cope with.

I hope I can keep up this blogging...so many things happen throughout the days that I'd love to be able to remember...