my trip to the dentist

so, i went to the dentist today, and i am proud to say that for the 3rd time, in my lengthy history of dentist visits, i don't have any cavities! now, i don't know how or even if people normally would celebrate this sort of thing, but not having a cavity is a very rare thing for me. so i celebrated...with a tall, vanilla, non-fat latte!

it was delicious.

they did however recommend more consistent flossing and the removal of my lower wisdom teeth.

Sewing...an Olympic sport?

Clearly, sewing is not an Olympic sport...I mean really, golf isn't even an Olympic sport yet. However, I had a dream....

Announcer 1:

Ladies and Gentlemen, these sewers are pushing the clock! They have 2 mintues left to pull of the perfect seam. Can they do it??? On the second machine we have Dana of Canada. So far, her seams look great. Nice, straight line, even stitching. It is probably one of the best seams I have seen in a long time!

Announcer 2:

Yes sir, these are some fine sewers here. It is important to mention that Dana is using the Singer 5000, an excellent machine. Quick threading time and quick pattern change over is very important in an event as competitive as this.

Announcer 1:

So true! This is the first round of five. These sewers have only just begun the final project. At the end of the 5 rounds, each sewer should have completed a twin sized quilt. It will be a tight race indeed.

Announcer 2:

Let's check back in with our sewers as they near the final minute of sewing. Yes, yes...Dana appears to be in the lead, with the most clean seams. It seems as though Bula of the USA has broken a needle. There is so much riding on this round of sewing, what an absolute horror to have to replace a needle. She seems to be handling it well. Bula is using the White 300, nice even sewing techniques with this machine, however not an easy machine to switch over. Threading and changing needles is not this machine's strong point! She seems to have pulled it off relatively quickly, but unfortunately, the time is up and her seam is incomplete.

Announcer 1:

It really is too bad to have worked so hard, to lose it on account of a broken needle in the first round. Because of this, Bula will be disqualified from the event, leaving 4 competitors to move on to round 2. Here are the standings:

1. Dana CANADA
2. Wanda ENGLAND
3. Marie FRANCE
4. Juanita MEXICO
5. Bula (Disqualified) USA

And then I woke up....

What now?

I admit, I have abandoned this whole "blog world". Here's an attempt, as weak or strong as it may be, to re-enter...

1. I am now 25.
2. I am unemployed.
3. I am considering purchasing a new mattress with wedding money.
4. I am planning on telling Cody that I am considering purchasing a new mattress with wedding money.
5. My grandma is here.
6. I haven't been home for the past 5 weekends.
7. I am tired.
8. I spent 5 days at a cabin. It was good times.
9. My sister is finding fake id's to play baseball. I think that's funny.
10. I am going to sleep in a tent tomorrow night.
11. I love hamburgers and corn on the cob. Perfect summer meal.
12. Summer is almost over and I am sad.
13. Then I think it's supposed to be hot and sunny this weekend and I am happy.
14. I still fit my grad dress from 7 years ago. (fist pump!)
15. I still fit my wedding dress from 3 months ago. (I would hope so!)
16. Hi, my name is Dana, I am 25 and I still play dress up with my sister.
17. God is whipping me into shape, slowly but surely.

So...yeah...an attempt? I don't know...

HAPPY 25TH BIRTHDAY DANA!
LOVE, ME.

The end is near

So, my time as a nanny is coming to an end......again...
I'm kinda sad about it this summer. Perhaps because the end was supposed to be at the end of August, and now, I have 9 days of work left. I will officially be unemployed on August 15. Someone actually suggested I go back to Esso...

It's been a good few months with the kids. We've had a lot of fun together (I think anyways), and I'm going to miss hanging out with them.

This job definitely has it's challenges...I'm not exactly a high quality entertainer...and now, in light of being done so soon here, I feel as though I'm being challenged. This job is not about me, how I'm feeling, how crazy I think I'm going...it's about loving these kids. I feel challenged to move beyond me, to not try and rush through each game of Crazy Eights Countdown, or Dominos, or making crafts, but to do these for them, to enjoy the games.

I'm thankful to have had a job that I can hang out with kids and play games all day. I can't imagine what I'll be like in the real world...stuck in an office type setting all day??? No games, no bike rides, no Starbucks coffee dates with a 6 year old, no crafts...

Maybe I should just listen to all the people telling Cody and I to have a baby....or on second thought.......

A little ACDC???

I'm on the phone with my grandma right now, the slightly crazy one, and she is commenting about how she quit going to the church down the street because the priest was a little "ACDC".

Hmm...

On my mind...

I feel full of thoughts today...
In a lame attempt to sort them out, I have turned to my blog. Indeed...this will be a lame attempt.

I'm struggling today with the whole concept of "gossip". In no way am I claiming innocence to this act. There are days when I gossip unknowingly, days where I justify it as "well, I really care for this person" or "I just need to talk this out", and days where I am fully aware of what I am doing, the implications that it could potentially have, the harm it could do, yet I do it anyway.

Gossip: idle talk or rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of others
Idle Talk: talk of no real worth, importance, or significance

Idle talk? How much time do I spend talking about things that have no real significance, importance and are of no real worth? I'm scared to answer that question. It's probably far more time than I want to admit. What scares me even more...I know I have come along way since the 'ol junior high days. Are we so scared to be vulnerable, to talk about the things that are important in life, to open ourselves up to someone else, that we feel we need to talk idly, to spread rumors, to share the latest tidbit of someone elses personal life? Do we feel the need to spread gossip about others to validate that we are a somebody? That we are in "the know"? Are we that afraid to be ourselves that we can only communicate with one another through gossip?

Am I that afraid to be vulnerable and to be myself?

I don't want to engage in idle talk. I want conversations that speak truth in love, that are uplifting and encouraging, that are honest and real; that reflect the character of Christ.

Maybe I am that afraid to let go, to be totally vulnerable and to be myself...God help me not to hide behind idle talk and gossip.

(Silly me, forgetting to reference my definitions. Those would be taken from www.dictionary.com, mainly because I don't own a dictionary...actually, maybe I do? Either way, I'm too lazy to get up and look for it...)

Interesting...

Perhaps I am becoming a little bit too "used" to the idea of being a "stay at home wife". This is my second day doing this. Husband is off to work...I stay home and putter. Believe it or not, I'm doing laundry, tidying the house, doing dishes, baking cookies, planning tonight's meal...
and I'm actually enjoying it...

It's official...

Facebook has approved my request for a name change...you may now call me Mrs. Anderson.

One of the things I am most afraid of is that I will be like my grandma. Even scarier...I think I can be at times.

I had such a great day today...finalized the food aspect of the wedding, spent some good time with Cody, spent some time with the flower girl, finally found some good black pants, I finished knitting a toque...it was a great day.

Then I get home, and it's like a switch turns off in me. All of a sudden I'm all down and depressed sounding/looking, I don't want to do anything, I'm short with people whom I love...I really don't know what it is that comes over me.

I think part of it is that I'm scared to move out of my home. I've lived here for 23 years; I don't know how to leave this place, leave this town, leave my neighbours, leave my family. I don't know how to live in the city, where it's loud and unfamiliar, where I don't know my neighbours. I don't know how to leave this place that has meant so much to me.

All the wedding plans are coming along great, and everything is pretty much done, and honestly, I'm not at all stressed about the wedding. I'm a home body. I'm fully aware of that. I think the whole "moving out" is affecting me in more ways than I know.

A lot of changes are happening within 2 weeks of one another...I'm overwhelmed...

And now...

3 weeks later, I will update the world once again with the going on's of Dana:

1. I AM DONE SCHOOL.
2. I am half done knitting a baby sweater
3. I only have to make 37 more party favors for the wedding.
4. My sister bought me a cute shirt, just because she wanted to.
5. I have 2 shifts left at the ol' Esso.
6. I got dust in my eye, and it has been allergically reacting since Saturday.
7. I put 6 holes in the bathroom wall, only to hang the towel bar 3 inches higher.
8. I had my hair trial.
9. I wrote my Psych exam in 12 minutes.
10. I went to and actually enjoyed a social.
11. I picked up my wedding dress.
12. I went to the Olive Garden.
13. I ran for 20 minutes and wanted to die.
14. I was in pain for 3 days after running for 20 minutes.
15. I had ice cream at the BDI with some good folks.
16. I bought a coat, then felt guilty about spending money, so returned it.
17. I got Starbucks instead....a couple of times...

Today.

What a beauty of a day. My alarm clock went off this morning...I rolled over, said "Nope, I don't want to go to school today!" So I didn't. Instead, I puttered around. I love puttering. It was a good way to spend a Tuesday.
I went looking for wedding shoes...instead, I found some really cute black ones.
If anyone knows of a good place to get white ballet flats...I've been told I'm running out of time...

And then reality hits...

And let me tell ya, it hit me hard. Cody can attest to that!

Now, I am fully aware that the wedding is coming up soon...45 days to be exact, but who's counting? :)Everything's coming together relatively stress free...unless you're me...then it's a little bit stressful!

The reality that hit me? I have to leave home. I love my home. I love living in the country, having supper with my crazy family, being in a familiar setting....

I was watching Friends when it happened. Chandler and Monica decided to live together, therefore, Rachel had to move out. She was all packed up and leaving, and her and Monica were all teary eyed and hugging, knowing full well that they would see each other soon...but they wouldn't be living together. Well, I started to BAWL. Nearly hysterical. I tried to hide it, 'cause come on, crying at Friends??? LAME! But I couldn't hold it in.

I'm going to miss living with my family dearly. I know that when I move out this time, it's for good. And yet, I know I'll be back to visit, I know I will see them. But still...I don't want to miss out on all the good stuff! But, like Cody said, I need to move on, so we, together, can create that kind of space for our eventual family (not any time soon Kyra).

I was an emotional disaster that day, and the day after...but I'm okay now. I'm excited to be married, a little excited to live in the city, and really excited to start creating our home.

In case I wasn't busy enough...

My mom came up to me the other day and said "You better start training! The marathon is coming up soon!" To which I replied, "Ummm, what?"

She signed up my whole family to run the relay in June. AND DID NOT TELL ME TIL NOW! (apparently she mentionned it last year...I do not recall such nonsense!)

I can't even do the shortest leg of the relay because the boy has a bad knee and back, so by default, he gets it.

I probably should start "training" soon. I really don't like running, but coming from a competitive family (myself included I suppose), I don't think they'd appreciate me walking the 6 miles.

So that's that. If anyone wants to go for a run, and actually likes running, could you come drag me out with you???

the labyrinth and me...

Yesterday at school I had the chance to walk a prayer labyrinth. I'll admit, I was a little skeptical of it all. It looked so "cult-ish" to me. The lady who spoke to us about the labyrinth told us that we were not being forced to participate, that it was our choice. If we decided to go ahead and walk the prayer labyrinth, all we had to do was step in, and continue moving forward, one step at a time.

I decided to give it a go. It was a weird experience at first, and I really wasn't sure how this was going to bring me closer to God. I'll be honest, on the way towards the center, I really was more focusing on what I had to do the rest of the day, what wedding plans were left, and trying not to bump into people. I kept wishing there was an "easy exit", just so it would be over faster. But I kept at it.

When I got to the middle, I stood in one of the 'petals', and prayed...then turned around to walk out. As I was walking out, I knew that Jesus was walking beside me, one step at a time. I knew that a weight that I had unknowingly been carrying was going to be left in this place. When I got back to the entrance/exit, I had to make a very delibertate choice about stepping off the labyrinth. Would I truly let this weight go? Would I leave it? I was almost a little scared to step out.

But I did...obviously, or I'd still be sitting in the chapel at Prov. I have moved forward, and I know that the weight is gone.

I have found comfort and peace knowing that Jesus is walking with me one step at a time.

it's good...

It's amazing what one week of no school, no work, afternoon naps, and making the executive decision to wear flip flops at my wedding can do. I feel great! I even went out and watched hockey at 11pm. No big deal! I feel free and spontaneous again. I feel happy, I feel...stress free! Is it possible?!? YUP!
I don't even care that I have to go back to school on Tuesday and write 2 exams. I say bring it on!
I'm gonna go stress free until the wedding...or at least try to...talk to me after I've been back at school for a week...

...

Sometimes you just need to sit beside someone. No words need to be spoken, being beside them is enough.

me, the basketcase...

I think reading week came at a perfect time this year. I'm pretty sure if I had to go to school this week, I'd likely lose my mind. Someone told me that I should call my blog "I'm still stressed..." Maybe I should. I don't know why I'm so stressed all the time. I feel like an emotional basketcase, and let's be honest, no one likes a basketcase Dana. I'm looking forward to this week of rest, no homework and catching up with friends. I don't like being a basketcase. I'm going to work on that. Perhaps I'll take up basket weaving to balance this out?
At any rate, my reading week started off quite hilariously:
Billy Graham special on TV
Bottom corner of the TV?
For a personal relationship with Jesus, call 1-800-.....
I just might have found Jesus' phone number...

a happy place...

Who knew that I'd find a happy place doing my homework, but I have. I'm sitting here in candlelight, with a cozy blanket, writing and listening to Cody play the guitar. I don't think he realizes that I'm listening and writing a blog instead of my sermon. This is a happy moment...

on being grandma-ish...

I'm scared I am going to be like my grandma. I know, I know...what's wrong with that? Grandma's are cute...they knit and crochet and make pies, go to bed early, they have candy in their purse all the time, they have that kinda cool/kinda weird, uber stretchy skin around their elbows, which is kinda fun to play with. Or maybe that's just me??? I don't know..either way, what is so bad about being grandma-ish. Well, nothing. I knit, I crochet, generally have some sort of sugar product in my purse...don't quite have the uber stretchy skin on the elbows, but I'm sure it will come. I can't say I bake pies, although, I do bake. So really...nothing wrong with being grandma-ish. I would even say I enjoy it.
My fear however lies in the fact that my one grandma is nothing like that. Don't get me wrong...I love her, and she has many great things about her. However, I have lovingly nicknamed her "crazy grandma". I don't want to be that kind of grandma-ish, and there are days, when I'm not careful that I see characteristics of her in myself. She tends to have a very bitter outlook on life, her mood can change on the drop of dime, she can snap quite easily and she has a mean streak. Not your stereotypical grandma...I kinda see this somewhat crazy side in me somedays, and that scares me.
My other grandma knits and bakes and goes to bed early, always has candy in her purse...and yes...the cool elbow phenomenon. Her life in recent years hasn't been easy with a lot of knee/back/hip problems, but she always smiles, is always polite, always loves and does her best to get by.
So there we go...being grandma-ish. Cody hasn't met "crazy grandma" yet. I'm sure he has nothing to worry about...a quality that I love about her, and that I find absolutely hilarious? She LOVES men...absolutely LOVES men...

anytime you're ready spring...

me, myself and my crazy self...

YAY! The sun was shining today! It was freezing as all heck, but it was sunny! I got an assignment done today with the ever so patient help of Cody. I have a hard time becoming motivated to do "busy work". None the less, it's done. Now I can focus on my big paper that's due on Friday. Focus? I guess a better word would be start. I'm a bit of a procrastinator.

So this week is reading week. For pretty much every college/university student in Canada...unless you attend Prov. We still have 2 more weeks of school before our reading week. I'm sure I will welcome that week with open arms, but there is something about sharing some time off with good friends. Oh well...It'll be good anyways.

I played boggle with my family this evening. I had my personal best game. My big scoring word: christian for 6 points, to which my sister replied, "Figures you would get that word." To which I tilted my head to the side, raised one eyebrow, looking quizzingly at her, then decided it wasn't worth talking. It was kinda bizarre...

Well...that's it for the ramblings. Here's to sunshine and perhaps warmer weather?

there's only 78 more days you know...

And yes...life is getting a little more hectic. I really do best if I have one or two things on the go. Not four. I don't do well with four. Because when there are four things on the go...at least two get side swept, and at this point, those two things would be school and work. Probably not the best things to sweep to the side. However, wedding stuff is far more fun!
My mom and I went shopping today. I'm thinking she has a goal of racking up my visa bill...not an intentional goal, but anyways. We went and bought the fabric and pattern for the flower girl's dress! It's such a pretty dress. I'm hanging out with Sydni on Saturday, and I'm super excited to show her the dress. She's going to love it! Agnes at Fabric Land was super helpful. She showed us what we had to do, if she thought we'd need more fabric and then helped ring everything through...and with the swipe of a visa we were off!
This evening I had my first dress fitting. My soon to be sister in law came with me, which was really nice of her. After being nearly poked with pins, stuffed in the right places and so forth, I set up the next fitting appointment, and found out the costs of what they were going to take in with today's appointment. My visa card and I were thankful when we realized that we could pay at a later date...like when all the alterations were done. I called my mom on my way home to tell her how it went and she suggested I go buy the shoes I want to wear at the wedding for my next fitting (which is next Thursday), and how did she recommend paying for these new shoes??? My visa. Oh dear...I really should reconsider not sweeping work to the side so much. That might prove to be helpful.

a youth retreat, a blizzard, - 47, being sick, and what I learned...

I spent the past weekend in Norquay SK. It was a youth retreat called "Snow Days". And that it was...we got stuck on the way there because of blizzard like conditions. I don't think I have ever been so scared to drive. I couldn't see 10 feet in front of me. I was laughing at myself though, because I was leaning as far forward in my seat as possible, thinking that suddenly my vision would improve. It didn't. At any rate, we got there early the next morning, just in time for a pancake breakfast. It was excellent! I really do love pancakes. It was about -47 with the wind on Saturday, so I chose to stay inside with the other sane people as opposed to facing the elements and toboganning and skating and other such snow activitites. I knit a toque and chatted with some girls while we sat in the sun that was coming in through the windows. That afternoon, I got sick. I was about to make...ok, I had made, the rash decision to drive home...Thankfully God closed highways. I was very grateful for a family who opened their home to me. I was able to get a lot of rest, and felt much better the next day when we drove home.
I'll be honest...I really wasn't looking forward to the weekend. I don't like being cold (Snow Days...), I didn't want to go away for the weekend. I really just wanted to be able to stay at home and relax. It had been a busy/stress filled week. I was really feeling terrible about my attitude. I kept praying that God would change my heart, and He did. When I got sick out there, I was so disappointed. I really just wanted to spend time with the youth, potentially freeze my face off and enjoy the company of those I hadn't seen in quite some time. God taught me that I need to care for my relationship with Him. When I am nurturing my relationship with God, I can then invest in serving God and others. When I am "spiritually drained", when I am not drawing strength from God, is when that passion and love for serving in ministry fades away...

the recovery...

You know the feeling when you wake up and you know you've spent the entire day prior crying? Yeah...that was Tuesday.

oh my stars...

Yesterday's declaration of officially being stressed amounted to the most dramatic crash and burn session today. I cried for 4 HOURS this morning....STRAIGHT. I don't think I've cried 4 hours in total in my life...ok, maybe that's an exageration, but still. There was no end in sight...I cried while doing my laundry, I cried while brushing my teeth (not an easy task), I cried while attempting to read a book for school, I cried while I was on the phone...I feel like the only thing I accomplished today was lose 6 pounds of water weight. And frick do I ever feel exhausted now. My eyes feel so heavy. I feel better though. I'm learning to prioritize things: what can wait until later, how and where can I set aside some time for me to rejuvenate, what can I just totally delete from my schedule...(I got rid of both my Esso shifts this week, hopefully...I'm still waiting on the one). My mom told me that I need to run up and down the stairs 4-5 times if I'm feeling stressed. Seriously? Wouldn't I just be stressed with sore legs then? I don't know...
I do know that how I am doing physically, mentally, emotionally is all directly connected to how I am doing spiritually.
"Abide in me and I'll abide in you, but apart from me you can do nothing" - Jesus, in John 15:4.
I'm learning to cling to that.

It is official...

I'm stresssed out. I had toyed around with the idea of potentially being stressed out before, but today, it has become official. I am stressed. If you asked me why, I probably wouldn't even really be able to tell you. By no means is my life all that overwhelming. Cody pointed out to me that he thinks when I hear about the stresses of others, I add them onto my pile of stresses, in turn creating this massive amount of stress, when sorted out...isn't even necessarily mine! At any rate...I'm feeling stressed. Actually, I prefer the word "flustered". I think it fits me better. Tomorrow is Monday...normally my day off (I know, you're probably thinking "someone who has Monday's off should NOT be feeling flustered, or for that matter stressed!")anyways...it's normally my day off. But Cody and I have gotten our place, so I'm helping him move in, then I have to make snack for my class (again, how stressed can my life possibly be if I get a snack time at college?), then I have an exam to study for, a class lecture to prepare and an assignement to do. ALL FOR TUESDAY! Oh well...I guess that's the life of a student.
I really am just laughing at myself now after this flustered vent session. My life is pretty great, and I'm thankful that we found a place to live when we're married, I'm thankful that I can go to school, and I am most definitely thankful for snack time. My class lecture is on "Foundations of the Heart"...I'm going to make heart cookies. How cheesy, yet oh so awesome is that? Ah yes....life is good. Even if I am flustered...it's a happy kind of flustered!

my first time...

Somehow I have managed to be swayed into the world of blogging.
It started about an hour ago, Shauna was blogging away, and I thought, I could do that. So I set out, but it took me SOOOO FREAKIN' LONG just to set up the page, that I didn't even want to write anymore. But then I just felt silly not writing anything at all, because what is a blogspot, without an actual blog? Pretty much a picture of my feet and a list of things I like and don't like. So, I will try this out...blogging...maybe I'll even like it? Who knows?
I'm going to bed.