Almost out...sorta...

Living in the north end of Winnipeg is not exactly my ideal/favourite place to live. It has it's ups...I like being next door to family, that's been fun. And that is about it. The ups end there. I feel so far away from everything else. My family is a cool 50 minute drive south. Church is 15 minutes south, Cody's family is 30 minutes...south. Why do we live in the north? It's cheap. I suppose that's another up. I know it may sound totally lame, but I don't feel safe up here, nor do I feel at home. I feel safe in my second storey suite, but that's about it. I don't ever want to go outside for walks by myself...there are always stories about people getting shot/stabbed/hammered (literally hammered, as in beaten with hammers)5 minutes away from us. Our landlords (who live in the suite below us, which I do not recommend if you ever have that situation presented to you) are pretty nosy...especially the lady. And they are loud. I can hear the 12 o'clock and 6 o'clock ctv news clear as a bell. They have scrabble nights on Saturdays. They slam doors and cupboards (which has woken my kid up on numerous occasions...I've been tempted to let him "cry it out" at night because his bedroom is right above theirs). So yeah...not my favourite living conditions.

My out. In my hometown, there was a 2 bedroom ground level apartment that went up for rent. It was 580$/month plus utilities. I know...people will be all like "Dana...you just want to live in St. Adolphe"...and yes, I do. I like that town. You can go for a walk and not get hammered. That appeals to me. I want Charlie to grow up in a safe place, where he can play outside. I want to be close to family, because only having one car, means I am often stranded. Anyways, it seemed to good to be true...and it was. We called at 7 in the evening and it had just been rented out. So depressing.

I made it!

Ok...so, I made a dress. I'm totally loving how it turned out!

Charlie, Mr. G and me

So I've spent the past 3 days looking after my nephew Gus along with Charlie. I'm not sure I'm ready for two kids just yet...
I am convinced that babies can plot with one another. No sooner would one go down for a nap, the other would wake up. One would start to cry, convincing the other that there indeed was a major crisis in the world, and should also start crying. For the most part though, it went really well. Gus is a good cousin to Charlie, giving him lots of hugs, kisses and body slams.

Mornings like this....

Last night was the first night that Charlie slept in his own room. It was kind of bittersweet kicking him out of our room. I missed having his little cradle next to me. I missed having to essentially just role over when he woke up in the middle of the night, as opposed to getting up and going to a new room. He didn't seem to mind the room change as much. And I think we both slept better. I had a very happy baby in the morning...a perfect morning indeed.

A good day.

Today was a good day. I woke up early...partly due to a hungry baby, but mostly due to the fact that I was going out with good friends! I am not ashamed to admit that I spent the majority of the day in the mall with Amanda and Kyra. And Charlie. We got there early, sat in Starbucks and enjoyed some caffeine and conversation for an hour or so, then we hit the stores. It was so nice just to wander. Of course, purchases were made...I don't know how excited I am about a breast pump...but the sweaters I found are top notch!

And to top it all off, it was actually nice outside today! Warm-ish and sun-shiny. I love it!

Oh, and Charlie got a sweet hat and coat from Amanda.

Being a mom, freezing inside my house and why I hate shower curtains...

So, lots has happened since the last post. My toes that were so perfectly pedicured and polished, have long since chipped away and I am no longer pregnant. Finally.

It's been a busy month adjusting to being a stay at home mom. I must confess, being a stay at home mom was a tad easier when the child was still in my belly. None the less, I love it. I truly feel that this is what I'm called to do. I had my little boy, Charlie, on September 5 at 10:03am. Labor is not something I'm willing to discuss at this time...I fear it may bring back memories that I have been successfully blocking out of my mind. Being a mom has it's many ups and downs, as I've learned in my short time of motherhood.

The Ups:
1. I know it's just gas...but he has the cutest little grin.
2. He is a good baby. Not too fussy. I like that.
3. The way he fits perfectly in my arms.
4. His little sighs when I hold him, letting me know that he is perfectly happy in that place.
5. There are so many more...

The Downs:
1. He has pooed in/on my hand twice now. Both at early morning changings.
2. Do I really need anymore downs?

All in all, I love this new phase of my life. It has been challenging at times, but so rewarding.

In other news...

The weather has changed. No longer warm and summery, it is officially fall. Unfortunately for me...I have no control over the heat in my apartment, and the weather has in turn, drastically changed in our apartment. It has gone from a comfortable +25 to a cool +18. I can't feel my toes. Or my nose.

And shower curtains. My stars. They are quite possibly the bain of my existence. I have a claw foot bathtub (bright red, if you're wondering), with wall to wall shower curtains. I can't stand them! Don't get me wrong, I totally understand the need for the shower curtain. I would much rather suffer daily in the shower than have to clean water up off the floor everyday. My problem is how they don't stay in one place. As the water showers out, the curtains swoop inwards, creating this terrifying plastic, clausterphobic wrap around me...I panic. That's all I can do. Oh...I also, on occasion, have shouted out about how much I hate the shower curtain system.

Right on.

::an update::

So I've become delinquent again with this whole blog thing, so, an update...

1. It is +12 outside right now...which is stupid considering it's the middle of August.
2. Even though it's stupid, I'm actually sort of appreciating the cooler summer being pregnant and all.
3. I spent the first week off of work painting the baby room and the baby furniture, and will be happy to never see a paint brush again for a long time.
4. I have about 5 different crafty projects started.
5. I'm surprisingly lazy when it comes to getting these crafty projects finished, even though I have all the time in the world right now.
6. My favourite part of any day is seeing Cody light up to the fact that much sooner than later, our little baby will be here.
7. I'm tired of being pregnant.
8. My mom has assured me that even though I don't have many "outfits" for the baby, it will not go naked.
9. Cody has assured me that even though I don't have many "outfits" for the baby, it will not go naked.
10. I don't know why I think the baby will go naked.
11. The landlords have finally solved the leaky tub problem.
12. Having a budget is a challenging thing, but feels good when you stick to it.
13. I got a new bible for my birthday, and the feeling of starting fresh sort of scares me.
14.I really hope my baby doesn't go naked...
15. I get really frustrated when my sewing machine breaks down on the last seam of the project.
16. I colored my hair back to dark brown and love it.
17. I have to trips planned for October, and I am looking forward to both! One to Banff and the other to Portland. Both with my family.
18. The idea of being responsible for a little one has the potential to overwhelm me on certain days, causing some tears.
19. I made a curtain from scratch for the first time in my life, and being a perfectionist, am going to take it out because the one side is about 1/2 a cm shorter than the other.
20. I'm excited for the free pedicure I got for my birthday and plan on using it sometime next week so that I have pretty toes for labour.
21. I don't know why pretty toes for labour is important...

the final countdown...

I officially have 20 days of work left. I honestly don't know if I'm more excited for my last day of work, or the baby to come...probably the latter, but it's pretty close!

Things are starting to fall off the bandwagon pregnancy wise. Up until about 2 weeks ago, I was totally comfortable, loving life, in no discomfort. Now...I get these absolutely horrible leg cramps every couple of days, along with a persistant back ache, and today, a literal pain in my butt. In all reality, these discomforts will seem rather insignificant come labor...

mmm...chocolate...

This past weekend I was at women's retreat in Pinawa, where I spent some great time with some ladies from my church. It was such a blessing to be able to leave the city for a weekend. Due to financial situations, I didn't think I would be able to go, but out of the kindness and generosity of my mother-in-law, I was able to.

The theme for the weekend was Chocolate and Friends, neither which were lacking at the retreat. Not only was I experiencing sugar highs and lows, but little baby was also. I took some pretty intense beatings on the inside over the course of the 3 days.

The speaker spoke about intentional friendships, being resiliant in friendships, recognizing that it's okay that we have different levels of friendship with different people, and that it's okay that friends come and go; that everything has a season. I'm still working through some of the thoughts that were brought up in me, but I do know for sure that I was impacted by a lot of the sessions and group discussions.

One thing that I have come to realize in myself is how lonely I actually am. When we got married, Cody and I naturally gravitated towards his circle of friends, which has been great, but I'm still getting to know some of these people. With that said, I have not abandoned the circle of friends that I used to always be with, but those relationships have changed. I feel as though I'm in a middle place; I don't fully connect with the new friends, and I don't fully connect my other friends. This is an area that I was definitely challenged in...to be intentional in spending time/getting to know new and old friends.

I'm thankful for this weekend. I know I needed this time to be with friends, to think, to pray, to be challenged...

ummm...excuse me...but i don't think you can say that...

my job is not my favorite. but every now and then...

a elderly lady (whom i find on most days hilarious. she says some funny stuff, which probably should not be repeated on my blog...) was in today. she's got a bunch of back pain/neck pain/all sorts of pain. anyways, the doc was telling her that sometimes the gentle contacts can be altered through different fibres/fabrics that are found in clothing. (think of that what you will...i just work here) she asked if it would be better if the contacts would be better received if applied directly to the skin. the doc said "he didn't think so, but...

cue inappropriate comment

thank you for offering your supple skin to me"...

some people's children...

I like the fact that I come from a small town. I like that my parents still live there and that I can escape the ridiculousness of city life and "go back to my roots", so to speak.

I think that growing up in a small town an create this inate sense of trust in people. Maybe I'm alone in that thought...but I trust people. I take what people have to say at face value, and trust that they are being honest. With that said, I have been called gullible on numerous occasions, at times, looking somewhat like a fool for this unquestioning trust.

What really gets me though, is so called "scam artists". I don't fall for the random phone calls of " airhorn... Congratulations! You have one a free cruise! Just press 1, give us your credit card number, sign your life away and BAM!" Those I am clever enough to clue into. However, today at work, a lady called. She had a good story...

Lady on phone: "Hi, we're from the credit card machine company (my first clue should have been the fact that she did not use the actual name of the credit card machine). I was just wondering if everything is still working properly, if you have enough of the paper rolls, etc., etc."

Me: "Yes, everything is working fine, thanks for asking!" (all too trusting, thinking this lady sure is sweet, and a good business lady to be calling clients to check on things...)

Lady on phone: "Well, I wanted to let you know that the price of the paper rolls will be increasing and that we've set aside 2 boxes at the old price for you to order" (wow, she seems nice...very thoughtful...)

Me: "Okay..."

Lady on phone: "Now I just need to verify your address, are you still on Corydon Ave? (she gave the full Corydon address, I probably would have been a little more skeptical had she had NO information on this office)

Me: "No, we've moved. this is the new address."

Lady on phone: "Perfect, now should I send this attention to you? Are you the office manager?"

Me: "No, I'm not. You'll have to send it to the Dr."

Lady on phone: "Oh, ok, so you can't authorize this transaction?"

Me: "No. I'll get you on the line with the Dr."

Lady on phone: "Great, thank you!"

**** lady on hold ****

So, I stroll to the back, tell the Dr. the phone is for him, someone needing authorization for ordering paper rolls for the credit card machine, all the while, unassuming that this lady is a scam artist. I quickly realized this when the Dr. went on about how it's a con, and he had fallen for it before and so on, and just to go tell her that he's not interested and all that...

So, I head back to the phone, to tell this lady that he's not interested to find that she's hung up. Surprise, surprise...some people's children I tell ya...

At any rate, I'm way too trusting of people...I wouldn't be surprised if before I die, I buy paper rolls at a "great price" and go on a "free cruise"...

some days are good days.

others are stomp down the stairs, slam the door kind of days.

finally...

I think I have finally reached the place where I am comfortable with my "changing" body. I know it sounds shallow, but I was not comfortable AT ALL with my weight gain. Finally though, you can actually see that I have a baby bump. In the words of my sister-in-law, I've "popped". That sounds a little more aggressive than it is. Essentitally, the baby bump is quite evident. As is the protruding belly button...

I realized today just how ok I am with it all as I was sitting at my desk at work, clearly working hard, watching my belly. No, it doesn't grow at that kind of incredible pace, but I could actually see the baby moving inside. Everynow and then, I'd feel a swift quick to the abs, and see my stomach bulge out a little bit. Kind of a crazy thing to see, but kind of cool too! The quicks are getting stronger and stronger each day.

It's hard to believe that I am more than half way, 25 weeks now, or for those who aren't too quick with math, just about 6 1/2 months. 15 weeks to go. I haven't been feeling the pressure to get everything ready yet...although, I am going to buy a stroller soon with the money from my grandma! WHOO HOO! But as for now, the baby room is the "we have no other place for this crap" room from when we moved. It kinda looks like a baby room, because it does have a cradle in it...

Anyways, I'm in a really happy place now:

* I'm only going to be pregnant for 15 or so more weeks
* My "fat" tummy actually looks like a baby bump
* My baby is healthy and quite active
* My husband is quite tolerant with my pregnancy related antics

Life is good.

ummm...uhhh...excuse ma'am, but i don't think you can do that...

I was on my lunch break, heading down to the church to visit my hubby, when I happened to casually glance to my right. Nothing unusual, just a bus stop, the regular kind, 4 glass walls with an entrance, a bench, ya know, the usual. Yeah. Insert double take: woman, squatting and finishing up her "business", then carrying on as nothing had happened in the enclosed space...

9 months later...

I was reading past blogs I wrote today and stumbled across one from last summer that mentioned something along the lines of being grateful for having a job where I can hang out with kids all day, playing games, making crafts and what not, and how I really couldn't see myself in the "real world", ya know, like in an office.

So, here I am, 9 months later, working in an office. And, no surprise, I can't stand it. I dread going to work everyday. I try to be positive, try to look at the bright side of it all, but in all honesty, I get paid to play spider solitaire and hearts all day. I know, you may be thinking, "Just quit...", and I would, BELIEVE ME, but if I want to collect EI come baby time, I'm stuck. So, the upside, there is an end in sight.

I wish that I could nanny again this summer. It would be such a nice change, and I think I would have a new found appreciation for it. Going to the park, swimming, Starbucks coffee dates; it'd be fun.

Come September, I'll get to hang out with my own kid...

Oh she's pms-ing alright...

So, I'm sitting in my home, faceblogging and the sort when all of a sudden, I hear some ridiculous yelling.
Me, being nosy, start peering (ever so cautiously) through my horizontal blinds, one strip at a time, trying to see where this "noise" is coming from. Turns out there is a crazy lady on the street. I don't know if she maybe thought she wasn't in a residential area, or perhaps wasn't aware of the actual volume her voice was reaching...but none the less, there she was, smoking, yelling and pacing the sidewalk in front of my house.
A man (seemingly calmer), was following her, speaking to her, I'm assuming trying to calm her down. I can assume that he was not helping the situation, because after he spoke (I couldn't hear him), she would turn around, start yelling again, just as he would reach up and start rubbing his temples. Poor guy.
Now in case the world hadn't already guessed it...from the crazy lady, and I quote:

"I'M (insert profanity) PMS-ING! DON'T YOU KNOW???"

I think we all know...

for mike...who seriously thinks it's time for a new post...

I've gotta say, I'm tired of winter and being cold. Maybe I'm realizing it more so this year, because my mom is in the Dominican Republic, and has been the past week and a half, and will be for another week and a half, my dad is heading there to be with her next week, my in-laws are somewhere in the south...Florida? My husband is going to Haiti next weekend...I was supposed to go, but apparently that is strongly discouraged if your prego-pops.

I long for summer...for hot days, for the smell of fresh cut grass, for laying on a deck by a pool, for long walks in the evening, for campfires, for fresh cut lilacs, for gelati and slurpees, for beach days, for driving with the windows down...

All I ever want to do in the winter is hibernate. My old neighbour used to tease me whenever he saw me outside in the winter...In all honesty, I think I have the right idea of staying inside with windchills of -45, and those who think it's possible to "enjoy" that nonsense...they are just trying to be heros. I don't need to be a hero. I need to be warm.

Maybe it would be a little better if the heat that the landlord paid for, was actually heat...not luke-warm air coming from one vent.

So this post kinda turned into a venting session about something that I have no control over, and can't do anything about...

I suppose it's a good thing I'm prego, extra pounds=extra warmth....