Day 6.

It's hard to believe it's been 5 days since Cody left. Charlie and I are hanging in there...somedays it feels like we're barely hanging in there, but we are.

It's been a harder week so far than it has been in the past when Cody has gone away. Charlie seems to be more aware that he is gone this time. Tuesday was pretty good...but then Wednesday rolled around. Cody usually feeds Charlie his supper, and when I tried, he wouldn't have it. Same on Thursday. So, 2 days, no supper. Good times...On top of all that, Charlie decided to show his sadness by the means of poo. On numerous occasions. Once on my kitchen floor. I'm not even sure how that one happened. He was sleeping mostly through the night the few days before Cody left, only getting up once, and since then, he's been up 2-3 times, therefore, I've been up 2-3 times. I tried to let him cry it out last night. I feel bad for the little dude...he's so tired and misses his dad.

I'm trying to be a good, loving and patient mom...but it's been hard. I called my sister yesterday and she came and picked Charlie up and took care of him for the afternoon. That was a nice break. A chance to re-focus, regain some energy.

After church today, we had a church family brunch. I knew Charlie would slowly fall apart there, being nap time and all. And he did. Maybe it was just me getting sort of annoyed, but I was tired, and really didn't want to be the one with the annoying baby today. A friend told me afterwards, that he's not an annoying baby, that he's just being a kid and that it's ok. I almost started crying. I don't think he meant to bring me nearly to tears. I'm sure it's the lack of sleep, but it got me thinking...

Maybe I'm expecting too much from my little boy. I know how much I miss Cody. If I had no way to speak out how I was feeling, I'd probably fuss and cry too.

Little does Charlie know, his week is gonna get worse. He gets his next round of shots on Tuesday at the doctors....

Lord, give me strength.